BARNYARD MASTURBATOR

BARNYARD MASTURBATOR. The name pretty much says it all. This British punk mob will raise some hell if you just let them. Anders Ekdahl ©2012

Is the band name a way of saying that country folks are stupid?
-No, not at all. Country folk don’t need to see our band name to know that they are stupid! (Just kidding!). No, seriously the band name came from an issue of ‘Bizarre Magazine,’ the article was called ‘The worst jobs in science.’ Barnyard masturbation was number 3. Not only did I find the name amusing but the article explained that the purpose of this job is to assist in artificial insemination. This is obviously to assist in the mass production of meat. I felt by using the name it was a statement about the artificial society that the human race has created in order to sustain the species. I knew people would always ask ‘why the strange name?’ and it would open up conversation about whether people are individually happy about the direction our specious is taking.

How easy is it to be controversial in today’s media climate where everybody can access the juiciest stories on-line?
-It’s not easy at all to be controversial in my book. It’s all been done hasn’t it? What else is there to achieve? Bar shooting yourself on stage & other than GG Allin, I can’t see anyone else doing the
business, do you? But we aren’t really about being controversial anyway. We, just like so many other punk bands just wanna have our say. That’s one thing I love about the punk scene, is that we are all so out spoken and have created our own fanzines, media, and scene basically to promote the alternative view. After all, who was it that said ‘Become the media?’ We’re all about getting people to open their minds to the reality they so often try to shut themselves out from. I understand people want to escape the boring realities of a mundane life. But if people wanna change the world they live in they gotta open their eyes and recognize some of the shit going down around them. Sometimes I find it pathetic when I meet people who just don’t care and would rather turn a blind eye to violence, hungry, greed etc.

What is it with Brits and controversy? Rock Bitch tried to freak everybody out with their outspoken sexuality for example.
-Well not being British I’m not sure?!?! (I’m American!). Perhaps it’s the stiff upper lip business…?!? But to be fair, I think they accidentally invented it in music with the Pistols – I mean how lame
is that shit now? I don’t know of many punk bands who are trying to be all that controversial these days. Yes I do remember Rock Bitch, and just found it all a bit of a joke really. But I would agree with you that the Brits, on mass are obsessed with controversy. All you have to do is open up a British tabloid newspaper, turn on the news or listen to Radio 4 in this country and it’s all about scandal with stars, scandal by the politicians, or scandal with the entrepreneurs like Rupert Murdoch. I think it’s the British media’s way of bombarding the down trodden with stories to cause disillusionment and in this way demotivate people because there is fuck all they can do about any of this anyway. It’s all a conspiracy!!! But that’s just one perspective, it would be interesting to go to Sweden and see things from a different view and maybe see how your culture differs from the UK both musically and societally.

Britain has brought us some of the greatest extreme music like crust, doom and NWOBHM. Where did the downfall start that put you on the back burner when it comes to extreme music?
Don’t they still make extreme music? Every music scene seems to start in the UK – Oi, Mod, RAC, Punk, Brit-Pop (Yuk!), death metal etc….Hats off ,they are innovators for music – Having lived here a
while though I can’t see where the next ‘scene’ is coming from due to venues closing every week & that poncey cunt Simon Cowell (Do you get a version of the X-Factor or such talentless show in your country?) The music scene is generally on it’s arse, and I feel the blame is with the likes of Simon Cowell. But I recently considered going on its rival show ‘The Voice’ and singing ‘The Streetlife Parade’ by Secret Affair. Would that make me a sell out? I thought maybe it could get the public eye back on the alternative scene.

Are the Brits victims of their own terrificness? Does the Empire still live on in the way Brits think of themselves?
-I think the UK Government killed off the empire after what was given away (or back to the owners, whichever way u wanna look at it), after WW2. They still think they are the bollocks, do Brits though, & fair play they’ve given the world a lot, music wise, the industrial revolution, etc. for such a pokey little nation. However, most Brits seem to want out to be honest & want to emigrate. Most of the people I know say the name ‘Great Britain’ should be revoked as its unlawful according to the ‘Trades Description Act.’ Basically, it ain’t my words but many Brits feel it ain’t ‘Great’ anymore. As for me I still love this country, I think the punk contingents are awesome and the countryside is beautiful.

With a name like Barnyard Masturbator I guess you don’t sing about the birds and the bees? How controversial can you be in your lyrics before people think you are a fraud and a bunch of wankers?
-You are a flatterer!!! The male half of the band are most definitely wankers – Brit men do seem to
talk a lot about masturbating! Hell, we are most certainly a bunch of wankers!!! Like I said we aren’t about being controversial. We don’t do stuff about fucking pigs or anything….All a bit too
obvious. We’re just out spoken and some people with narrow views might find that offensive, but ‘to each his own.’ Our music is about how human beings can be vile individuals, motivated by hate, anger, aggression or just an uncalculated need to destroy. We sing about being a fuck up and how sometimes, no matter how hard you try you may find yourself back at square one despite all your efforts. Our music is for the people who are angry and just want to be heard. I don’t think you can be found to be a fraud for just saying you’re human.

I remember in the 80s that there were a lot of squats and other places you could play as an alternative to the more established scenes. What is it like today? Has that scene too been cleaned up?
Today in the UK – There is…..FUCK ALL! London hasn’t suffered, due to over-crowding, tourism, but for the rest of the country – Every major city has suffered & lost venues / pubs due to the horrific hike in tax on beer and increased rent costs, the fuckin’ ridiculous ‘No smoking’ in pubs….(So
when everyone’s had a few drinks and the weather is nice all the punters go out to the garden to smoke – So it is now better to be an opening band in England than a headliner as a lot of head acts play to hardly any people) – I don’t smoke but think venues should have the right to choose for themselves. This has had an impact on the scene plus It is sooo expensive to drink here, so most people stay at home, drink, and fight with their neighbours! You would have thought that
squats would have popped up in this climate but again outside of London there is none. The punk scene in Britain has got smaller & smaller – People save their money and go to the Punk Festivals & the bands who strive to keep the scene going play to diminishing crowds every year in less cities due to venue closures. It’s all quite sad really…

I’ve never been a big fan of the cider drinking punks. How disrupting is it to constantly be under the influence of this or that. What is your take on being on the outside of society? Is there an alternative?
-Cider punx ….. Very few on the ground nowadays. Bristol (The home of cider and Chaos UK, Disorder etc) still has a few but mostly the punks of today seem to be very clean cut, decent and errr old!
(This may have something to do with it) We did use to do a song called ‘Cider Punx’ but I can’t remember if it’s any good or not?!? We do have a song called Losers, of which there is a line which shouts out to ‘Losers in the park, drinking cans of Strongbow.’ I don’t know if you have it over there Strongbow is a Cider. I’m not self-righteous but I don’t spend all my time drinking, just feel there’s more to life then that but I don’t think less of people who choose that path. My take on being outside society? and is there an alternative? Well, hell yeah there is an alternative! I see ‘normal’ people every day and they can’t believe their eyes when I take them to down to earth pubs where Barnyard play. They always say to me that I’ve ‘opened their eyes.’ Our punk scene is the alternative, it is different to the main stream we are more true to ourselves then the soulless everyday individual who goes about their business always doing, never thinking, never stopping to question ‘is there another way.’ There are more people like us out there but we just can’t seem to come together to make the alternative way of life more acknowledged and respected. Maybe this is because even the alternative scene is so segregated that it can’t be united in such a way to really make a mark. We fight amongst ourselves, punks against skins and now more recently hardcore politically correct (PC) punks against anyone who might have a slightly different view. The UK punk scene at the moment seems to have a lot of PC punks who go out on a witch hunt for people in the scene who have a different view to their principles and then they lambast these people as racist and undeservedly so I might add. Also, we’ve made the scene closed and exclusive where we don’t welcome new comers i.e. the younger generation. Every year I see less and less young people at punk gigs because they are made to feel unwelcome by the older contenginent who display the attitude of ‘I was there the first time around what business do you have being here?’ I think, if we could just share in our common ground, which is our love for music and being those who are outside society then maybe we could create a more united scene.

Would you ever consider yourself to be a crossover act? What is that to you?
-We’d like to be seen as a crossover band & appeal to anyone. Even the French…(Only jokin!) – I personally don’t see the point in labelling yourself and only trying to appeal to 5 old geezers who were there, back in the day of the 70’s or 80’s. I like all kinds of music, so I hope that even Eurovision Contest fans (Which we tried to enter as the UK act but were told to change our name to be considered…we of course refused!) would check us out – We ain’t a clique – Anyone is welcome at
our gigs!

How far do you see Barnyard Masturbator going?
-I can see us going about 40 miles to the next gig (Petrol is the most expensive in Europe over here as well which is another hindrance for bands) That’s about it until we can think of something else daft
to try. We are still trying to find the time to record the second album. Our band members live in different parts of the UK 100s of miles apart. We’ve got about 14 new tracks which piss over the first
album, & bar me the singer, the line-up is totally new from that debut album (Badger Fatality Orgy/released on Winston Records) too. Since that album in 2007 we have released a 5 track EP in 2011 and the best selling pin badge of 2009. The ‘difficult’ 2nd album currently has a working title of “Swearing Conniption Fit” (If I’ve spelt it right) – But it’s likely to change. Our motto is we don’t want to limit ourselves. So, we will do just about any gig. You just never know what’s going to be good or bad? The gig we raffled off for £39 (Inc post, us travelling expenses) on Ebay was a fuckin stormer in a blokes shed! I kid you not. To answer your question in a more serious vein, we’ll keep going as long as we can still write music and we have something to say!!! Anyway thanks for the interview – Dear reader check us out on facebook. Just stick the band name in on search….Wallop! You found
us. Cheers Anders! We salute anyone still doing anything for Punk Rock!!

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